2012… yeah, no.
Posted By: Ms. That Girl | March 30, 2010 | 8 comments
Yo. The world is not gonna end in 2012. So stop it. The economy sucks, and we don’t take proper care of our planet. There have always been earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and dudes who wanna destroy populations to make up for the size of their penis. Shit happens. And every single time shit like that happens, SOMEBODY “predicted it”. No, they didn’t.
“In the City of God, there will be great thunder. Two brothers will be torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb.” -Nostradamus, 1654
Ok. Despite this being 356 years ago, let’s just break this down a little bit. The “City of God” = NYC, USA, apparently. Not Jerusalem. “Two brothers” = the twin towers because they came out of the same woman’s womb, right? Evidently, the “fortress endured” because Ground Zero does NOT actually mark the spot where the fortressES did not endure. And who the hell is the great leader?? Oh yeah! Barack Obama. That prez who’s letting our economy go to shit. He is so great. But seriously…succumb to what?? WTF does that even mean?? He’s right if he means that the “Great Leader” is symbolic of the world’s population succumbing to a bunch of horseshit.
As far as 2012 goes, here’s what I think. Honestly, to me it only means the Mayans couldn’t fit any more numbers on their little circle calender that one of them probably drew in 1st grade. Sooooo that’s just when the world’s gonna go boom.
HOWEVER, this website actually has a list of CELEBRITIES who believe in the phenomenon. It must be true. The list includes people like Shirley Maclaine (we all know she’s normal), the Smashing Pumpkins (of course they do- they’re a bunch of emos), Lil’ Wayne (yeah, the guy who walks around with a cup of sizzurp all day), and Mark Thompson (who?). Unfortunately, there is no list of non-believers, like Obama, and Sarah Palin. Listen- they may suck at their jobs but they miiiiight be a little more educated than Canibus. Not to mention an enormous amount of non-believing scientists who are like, “yeah, no.”
Guys- people are profiting from this. From spreading fear. There are countless books being sold everyday about this crap. Hollywood made millions of dollars with the movie 2012. There are crazies out there who are actually selling survival kits. But, are they really crazy? ..or just really fucking smart?
I’m not 100% on this, but I heard that people are like, building caves, and tunnels and shit. Excuse me… if the apocolypse comes- do you REALLY THINK a cave is gonna save you? ‘Cause prolly not. Even if by some teeny tiny chance this bullshit has some truth to it, and the cave people DO survive- what the hell are you gonna eat?? Is there honestly enough food in your little fort to nourish a growing civilization for all eternity? ‘Cause prolly not. If you like reading, I recommend the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It’s about people trying to survive after nuclear war. Bottom line- ya can’t. Even fiction is smarter than these people.
I am not looking forward to D-Day, which I’m assuming will be December 21, 2012. Only to me, it won’t stand for “Dooms Day”- it’ll stand for “Dumbass Day”. You all can go bazookas all you want- just please don’t let it interrupt my life. Thank you.
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Mister E March 31, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Let me take everything I said back. Ignore history. Ignore the cycles. We’re all going to be ok doing exactly what we’re doing now and will continue for thousands of years to come. Whew… at least I can relax now.
But what if these elite scientists who plague the discovery and history channel actually have some sort of merit behind them? No no… that can’t be… probably got their peanut oil soaked degrees out of a box of Cracker Jacks. What a prize. They’d be better off with a lick on tattoo of that damn dog Bingo.
Have these trends continued since B.C.? Yes. Increasingly so. And for anybody who considers Jesus living a looong time ago… please. Jesus’ time was a blink of an eye ago when compared to the measurable life of the Earth. A trend that has emerged and continued for 2000 years IS sudden. The weather changes over the same time span is considered a severe and abrupt change. Religion has risen to unfathomable heights and then plumetted to a murky disrespect once saved for over-zealous cults.
My purpose is not to produce fear or to sell my Survive the Apocolypse package (available at Amazon.com for $69.99+shipping), but to show a perspective most are preprogrammed to be comfortable moving through their lives without.
But please… don’t let me steal focus from MTV’s RealWorld/RoadRules challenge with such poppycockery. I’m probably pulling most of this from my uptight, coal-to-diamond…..
…… hey, did you hear Ricky Martin’s gay?
Aaron Van Gossen March 31, 2010 at 11:36 am
“the quickening degradation of religious beliefs… the sudden reversal in strengthening race relations… the dramatic increases in weather severity… the out-of-control technological advancements… the disturbing breakdown of international relations… the general chaos amongst financial and social structures…”
With the possible exception of technological advances, which have been awesome over the last century, this shit’s been happening since before Jesus. So seriously, relax. We’re gonna be here to produce bad music, watch shit reality TV and have meaningless internet arguments with people we’ll never meet for generations to come. Sleep tight kids.
ham March 31, 2010 at 2:24 am
haha wowww, relax! I’m pretty sure every generation has it’s moments when they think the world is going to end! Take the holocaust for example.. and I’m sure during WWII many people thought about this kinda stuff…dramatic events will continue to repeat itself forever. . . nothin new.
Mister E March 30, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Great change is upon us…
the quickening degradation of religious beliefs… the sudden reversal in strengthening race relations… the dramatic increases in weather severity… the out-of-control technological advancements… the disturbing breakdown of international relations… the general chaos amongst financial and social structures… to think this is not leading to something surreal, although unimaginable and awesome, is to ignore the obvious.Is December of 2012 when this change will miraculously take place? Who knows. Maybe it’s already began. But something’s coming kids. Tuck yourselves in tight.
Lana Morelli March 30, 2010 at 8:22 pm
This post was so true and so funny. I literally laughed out loud.
I completely agree with your theory that the silly Mayans just ran out of beads, numbers, rocks…(whatever they were usuing) and prob just figured they had gone far enough in advance.
Bottom Line: If the Mayans were so smart why did they not predict their own extinction? (so I agree that we should lets stop giving them too much credit)
I think if the world is going to end, no cave or $25 survival pack is going to help you.
Anyhow, great post, I wish we could slap this on MSN or CNN and make people read it so they would chill the hell out!
P.S. I Love the list of celebrities….the most moronic people in Hollywood believe this so “it must be true.” —-Stupidity is truly scary!
Steel Tip March 30, 2010 at 7:43 pm
An Apocalypse (Greek: Ἀποκάλυψις Apokálypsis; “lifting of the veil” or “revelation”) is a disclosure of something hidden from the majority of mankind in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception, i.e. the veil to be lifted.
12/21/12 isn’t the end of the world… just something REALLY awesome is going to be unveiled.
I hope it’s like “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown… and that I get to be Robert Langdon during the whole mess
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