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Hater.

Ms. vs Mr.

Posted By: Mr. This Guy | February 25, 2010 | 2 comments

I’ve had friends tell me that I may hate woman because of things in my past that have jaded me towards how stupid woman are, how they all seem to have a hidden agenda and because sometimes I say things like “Man I fucking hate women,” But what I really mean is I hate the things that woman do that completely contradict the things that woman say. Here are three common myth’s/lies woman say, debunked.

Common myth number one: Woman can be funny.

WRONG! While humor is quite possibly the most subjective trait that a person possesses, women as a rule are not funny.  I know what you may be thinking, “I know this one girl who is really funny”.  My answer, no you really don’t. That girl that you think is funny does odd things or crazy things or even things really loud but she never really says funny things, at least not on purpose. When girls think their girlfriends are funny its because they got drunk and danced on a bar one night, or were mouthy with a waitress in college or maybe even once shit in one of their friends cats litter box’s one night so that later their friend would be so freaked out at the enormous amounts of poop that a cat could have produced. I know what you’re all thinking again, that is kind of funny. Well jokes on you you’re right but that was me and I’m a guy. Have you ever had a girlfriend completely butcher a funny story by just telling it? Have you ever been flipping through the stations on TV and see a female comic on..exactly. Pass!!

In general here is the stereotypical order of funny if you ever going to watch a comedian.

1) White males
2) African American males
3) other raced males
4) Lesbian women
5) straight woman.

Myth number two: Woman love being independent.

WRONG! Sure there is some degree of independence that all human beings are attracted to, I am convinced that most woman really don’t want to be dependant. What most women want is to be loved. Well, love and independence by nature are directly oppositional. Would an attractive woman date a man without a job? Would an attractive woman truly enjoy picking up the check even half as often as men do when they go out? Most women I know don’t even bring more than 50 dollars with them on a night out. In the city that will cover maybe cab fare for the night and woman realize this. They also realize that they want to be romanced and swept off their feet. Listen ladies if you want to be treated as equals to men in pay and respect then start living independently and carrying your own load.

Top two questions a girl asks her girlfriend when she meets a guy.

1) Is he cute?
2) What does he do for a living? (Meaning how easily can he support you)

Guys on the other hand ask:

1) Is she cute?
2) Did you bang her?

I’m not saying were don’t have our demons too but being independent isn’t one of them.

Myth number 3: I’m a guy’s kind of girl, all my friends are guys.

WRONG again, and with this one I’m not saying its an absolute as with the first two but in 33 years on earth I have maybe met 2 or three true “guys type” girls. What I have met are thousands of women who just don’t get a long with other woman. But because one is true doesn’t make the other true.

Guys hangout with girls for six reasons only:

1) We want to bang you
2) We want you to introduce us to your friends so we can bang them
3) We already banged you and kinda hope we can bang you again
4) We are secretly banging
5) We are married to you or in a relationship with you
6) We are bored.

Please ladies evaluate your relationships with any of your guy friends and they will fit into one of these six roles I promise.

I’m not ruling out that I could just surround myself with all the wrong types of women? It’s possible that as one fairly rooted theory goes: the better looking you are the less likely you are to have ever developed the need to properly communicate and conversely if you look like a pile of shit or a fatty your are more likely to steer people toward you with intelligence and wit. I wish I could comment on the second but due to the fact that I purge myself and my life from all fatties and uggers, I’m going to stick to writing about what I know best.

1. 

   Ms. That February 26, 2010 at 7:01 pm

   ohhhhhhhhhohohohohoho.

Continuing the Discussion

1. Rebuttle. Ms. That girl vs. Mr. This Guy – Gimme This and That

   [...] reading Mr. This Guy’s article entitled “Hater.”, I feel as though I have no choice but to agree to disagree (after this rebuttle, of [...]

   February 26, 201010:01 pm

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