Breaking the Law of Attraction
Posted By: Ms. That Girl | May 14, 2010 | 3 comments
Many people, upon hearing the phrase “laws of attraction”, though it applies to so many other things, think solely of the chemistry between men and women. (You know, the people who won’t ever be anything more than drinking buddies because they bring nothing else to the table.) But they’re not entirely off, of course; obviously, what we sense in the opposite sex determines the degree of gravitation. Like a magnet, when a man puts off the right “signals”, a woman will inch closer and closer. Her metaphorical vagina gets wetter, even if her literal one hasn’t caught up yet; and vice versa. (Except like…with a boner. You understand.)
Anyway, men and women size eachother up constantly. I’ve heard lots of times that within the first 3 seconds, or so, a guy looks at a woman and decides whether or not he would hit that, which is probably true. Chicks kind of do that, too. Instantly upon meeting a man, the subconcious kicks in. How old is he? How’s his hair? Weight? Height? How strong is his jaw? What does he smell like? But we tend to think about it more than they do before we come to our conclusions; whether that takes 3 seconds, 3 days, or 3 months. ALOT goes into it for us.
Of course, I may not be able to speak for all women here, but I can certainly speak for myself, and here’s what goes into it for ME. I suspect plenty of ladies can at least feel me a little bit on all this…
I’d like to start off by quoting Britney Spears here (hate on- I love that bitch), from her song, ”Radar”. The first two lines: “Confidence is a must. Cockiness is a plus.” Whether she wrote that herself or not, that shit is SO. TRUE. The most ENORMOUS TURNOFF for me is low self-esteem. If a man insults himself, especially if he’s fishing for a compliment, I want to throw up on his face. I’m not talkin’ if a dude calls himself fat or short ’cause he is and then laughs about it; I’m talkin’ when a dude calls himself ugly, or stupid, or a loser and like seriously means it. I fucking hate that. It’s like sorry, honey, you just aren’t man enough to be with me, and it doesn’t seem like you’re ready to be in any kind of healthy relationship for that matter. We want to be proud to be on your arm. We wanna feel like other bitches will be so jealous when we’re with a guy whose confident and sexy because of it. I, myself, definitely find a lack of self-confidence just straight up repulsive.
I also want a man who appreciates ALL of my good qualities, physical or otherwise, and who is vocal about it. That shit is key. HOWEVER, there is such a thing as being over-complimentary (I mean, I’m glad that you adore me so much, but you’ve really given me nothing but lip prints on my ass, and I’m not talking about the good kin. And you’re cute and all, but like… is that it, or…?) I already have a great relationship with myself, I don’t need another one. SHOW me something; tell me about your passions, your accomplishments, the unique shit you’ve done in your life. Oh, you’re boring and lazy? Byyyyeeee.
Moving on… Like it or not, money matters. I know there are so many ways to make memories, but without money, you’re limited. Call me shallow, evil, whatever; deep down, you know I’m fucking right. If a man can’t treat me to dinner every once in a while, it’s a wrap. Now, don’t get me wrong, I may be oldfashioned and a big believer in chivalry, but I’m not unreasonable. There are times when it is appropriate for a woman to pay for herself. But, ladies- if you’re cool with going on a serious date with a guy who wants to go dutch, your standards are too low. It’s one thing if he does it for 6 months and then stops, and you’re trapped ’cause now you have feelings (HAHA Not bitter. Really.) But it’s a-whole-nother when a guy is trying to date you in the beginning and wants to split the tab. (Get out, girl. Imagine how much worse that could get.) I feel like if the guy is just broke, or has very little money, it better be because he’s fully independent and works his ass off, but can’t save because he’s paying for his grandmother to be in a nursing home. Saving for a future is great- I’m definitely down with that. But being stingy is selfish, and that’s a big red flag.
Last, but certainly not least, personality is huge for me. Most importantly, on a scale of 1-10, you’re sense of humor cannot fall below 8.75. With me, you better be fucking funny. Also, the man I’m with absolutely needs to be friendly and outgoing. And I’ll be the judge of that because I see everything. For example, if I see him talking to someone and avoiding eye contact or some weak shit like that, he will totally repel me. If he meets a friend of mine and doesn’t smile while he shakes their hand, I will notice, and he will lose points. If he’s are rude to any member of my family, that’s it- he’s fucking done. Bottom line? Don’t be a dick, and at least pretend to have some class.
Look… again, I’m speaking for myself, but I’m also trying to speak on behalf of all women. To the men who are reading this: don’t be intimidated. I’m only trying to help. It’s not hard to get us if you just stay aware of how not to suck. Thank you.
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