From a Catch to a Joke in -1.5 inches
Posted By: Ms. That Girl | March 19, 2010 | 3 comments
Topics discussed at a ladies’ luncheon: sales, hair, shoes, celebrities, recipes, wallpaper, and YOUR DICK.
That’s right, guys. We talk about it. From the length, to the width, from the balls, to the tip- the details of your member are discussed at length among girlfriends, and oftentimes giggled about until another dicktale comes to top the last.
The average penis length among males is 6 in. (*) So help you, Lord if you come in at a pathetic 5.5 or lower. If a woman has ever said to you “I don’t care about the size of your penis. You’re perfect just the way you are!” – you were lied to. Size matters. A LOT. I don’t care how built, tan, rich, or charming you are- the size of your dick can turn you from a catch to a joke in -1.5 inches. Oh, but you make up for it in width, right?? Short and stocky?? Yeah, no. There’s no makin’ up for it. A wide shaft is merely a small consolation for us women that have to settle for less than what we deserve. If you have a tiny peter, and you think you’re in the clear because your significant other wouldn’t dare embarrass herself by telling her friends, you’re wrong. She does tell them, and then she cries, and then they all hug her and buy her a drink. Think about that next time you go on a double date with your girlfriend’s friend and her boyfriend. Guess what- your girlfriend knows alllll about his dick, too.
Maybe you are well-endowed when it comes to your package (Call me.) Good for you- you’re girlfriend/wife is a lucky woman. Now… do you know how to use it? Aside from a wide one, a penis-well-used is another consolation for us. We’re humans, and should be fucked as such. If you come at me like a woodpecker, I will definitely warn my girls to stay away from you. If you treat me like you’re scared I’ll break- I’m not gonna call you again. There’s a happy medium, gentlemen- and for your own sake, I hope by now you’ve found it.
As Mr. This Guy told us in his piece, “Half for the Glory and Half for the Story”, living to tell the tale of an extraordinary sexual encounter is an achievement in and of itself. How the story goes, however, defines how great the victory. Men may fill in the blanks when they are embarrassed telling a story with little lies in order to save face. But women have no need to lie. We don’t get embarrassed in bed. At least none of my friends do. We just like to tell the story as it went down. Here is a list of some other things I like…
1) Shopping
2) Scented Candles
3) Using my ultra-massage shower head to it’s full potential
4) Cheesecake
5) A good old-fashioned, thoroughly detailed DICK REPORT. 
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