Who Hates You? This Guy.
Posted By: Mr. This Guy | May 29, 2010 | 8 comments
There’s a good chance there is someone out there who hates you. And I mean HATES you. When you walk into the room, this person is probably livid. When you talk, they pay very little attention, and when you walk away they say a little thanks to God.
This person is your bartender.
Your bartender probably hates you. Why? Because you are annoying, that’s why. The problem with customers at the bar is that they think that the bartenders are there for them and them alone. They have no concept of what actually happens… So let me enlighten you.
I’m paid for shit. My hourly wage is only $2.83. Somehow, the government is okay with people in the food service industry making well below minimum wage. Whether the bar is busy and I’m raking in the dough, or it’s a slow night and I make $20 in tips, my hourly wage is still $2.83. The owners must cover minimum wage if my tips don’t; so that means that IF I have a great night that covers my wages for the week, my paycheck is zero dollars. We’re paid weekly so the owners can avoid actually having to pay us. When you hear a bartender saying that they work for tips, we literally mean we work for tips… So I have no time for your bullshit.
Here are some things you do that piss your bartender off:
Sitting at the bar, nursing a drink on a busy night. Stop doing that. The bar is prime real estate for people. Everyone wants to be at the bar, not standing behind it. The bar is where the action is, where the TV’s are, where the people are. If you’re sitting there nursing one drink, you’re keeping me from getting people sitting there who are going to drink and spend money, thus increasing the size of my tip.
Not knowing what you want. I’m busy. I may only look like I’m making a drink, but I’m also remembering the next four orders I’m about to make, in addition to having a conversation with you. If you don’t know what you want and the bar is crowded, I’ll skip right over you. Don’t ask me to “surprise you.” I know hundreds of drink recipes, and trying to think of one that will appease a person I don’t know because they are indecisive makes me want to punch that person directly in the face. Also, just because your friend made a drink called a Dragon of Doom doesn’t mean I’ll know what it is. If it isn’t standard bar fare, don’t be surprised when I ask you what’s in it. I’m not retarded- you’re ignorant.
My name is not Guy, Buddy, or You. If I’ve made eye contact with you, I’m fully aware of your existence. The fact that I’m not coming over to you doesn’t mean that I don’t see you; so you can quit snapping and waving your credit card or your cash. That sort of impatience is rewarded by losing your place in line. Yes, you have a place in line. I know who’s next, because I’ve acknowledged their existence. It’s part of my multitasking abilities. If we’ve locked eyes, I’ve assigned you a number, and I will get to you as soon as your number is next. Trying to get my attention will make you wait longer. If you want immediate service, make sure you tip me well. It lets me know you understand I’m busy, but you expect service immediately and are willing to pay me for my time.
Your looks aren’t paying my bills. Just because you’re a cute girl doesn’t mean that you can get free drinks or not tip me. Try it once, and you’ll be thirsty the rest of the night. I don’t not get paid to make you feel beautiful. You want a free drink? Rub up on the drunk guy next to you. I’m sure he’ll buy you a drink if he thinks you’ll sleep with him. I’m sober, I’m married, and I’m broke. Give me your money.
And those are my Top 4. Try and adhere to those rules at any bar, and chances are that you’ll have a much better time, and you know what? Bartenders remember that, and soon enough you’re on your way to VIP status.
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Jim Magarity June 9, 2010 at 12:30 am
So I guess you were told what your job description is and how you were to be paid.
Don’t you think if you were just nice to everyone the pay would follow?
Sounds to me like your impatient and you don’t like people.
Derek Vana June 2, 2010 at 4:28 pm
and you people have obviously never worked in the service industry. you’re probably the type of people who would order 4 mojitos and 4 martinis at the bar when its 4 deep.
Derek Vana June 2, 2010 at 4:26 pm
It’s up to the customers to not be an douchebags when the bartenders are obviously busy, and be patient. You’ll get your drinks, just don’t be an annoying prick about it.
BOB June 2, 2010 at 4:03 am
And here’s what I hate:
People that take a job VOLUNTARILY in a service industry but hate to provide good service! I’m usually on the other end of this customer hating employee for no fault of my own. You know what else I hate? The fact that I pay my taxes and whiny bartenders don’t! When’s the last time you claimed your tips guy? 26% of everything I earn goes to pay uncle sam… 100% of what you earn goes into your pocket…buddy. If you hate people you can always mow lawns or pick up trash, I’m pretty sure that pays more than $2.83/hr.roxo May 31, 2010 at 12:26 am
you work for the customers. if you don’t like that then you should get a better job. a bartender’s job is to serve, and it is not up to the customers to accommodate you.
Continuing the Discussion
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May 30, 201012:28 am
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