Rebuttle. Ms. That girl vs. Mr. This Guy
Posted By: Ms. That Girl | February 26, 2010 | 3 comments
After reading Mr. This Guy’s article entitled “Hater.”, I feel as though I have no choice but to agree to disagree (after this rebuttle, of course) and put this topic to rest. I like you, Guy- you got balls. Perhaps they are shrunken by the use of Egotistical Steriods, but nevertheless, you still managed to spit something worth acknowledging. BUT you can’t just stop there because I haven’t finished yet. You might just go back to having to use those fingers and keep typing ’cause I’m almost there, baby. You’ll know when I’m done.
AH-HE-HEMM. Ok. So, since This Guy decided to air out supposed ”myths” about women, I think it would only be fair to air out what I believe to be “myths” about men. Not sure exactly who died, and made him the voice of more than the half the world’s population, but- I am honored to write alongside you, sir! And I am gonna reference you as TG for convenience. Hope you don’t mind, Sire.
Myth #1: Men are funnier than women.
Let me premise the following by stating that I am not a lesbian. So according to TG’s list of the “stereotypical order of funny”, I would come last as a straight woman. Unfortunately, this entire shit is inaccurate. PEOPLE are funnier than people. (Insert obvious example here). As far as white males being funnier than black males- though the thought is funny, unfortunately that, too, is false. We should take a poll about that because I would love for you to prove me wrong. Let’s put Jeff Dunham up against Katt Williams, or Jim Bruer vs. Dave Chapelle. You might be right, but perhaps this is just racist.
Dude, I gotta say though- you taking a shit in a litter box is fucking HILARIOUS. Check this out- in high school, my girlfriends and I bought a piece of fake shit from gag shop, and set it right in the middle of the cafeteria during lunch hour as we sat by and watched until a teacher tripped over it, picked it up, shook his head and walked away with it. We’re talking when we were 16 year old heterosexual GIRLS. Or we could talk about how one night we used a voice changer and called a known drug dealer pretending we were the police and listening to him cry before we told him it was us. But that shits just boring, man. The funny part actually lies later on that night when we went to the bar, did not dance on it because that’s trashy, and gave 5 out of 6 guys a fake number. The guy with the real one was most likely cute and rich. Which leads me to the second myth…
Myth #2: Guys love being independent.
No you don’t. Unfortunately, you’ve just accepted the fact that you have to be so that someone will date you. I’m sorry TG, did you admit to enjoying picking up a tab? I would certainly hope so because when you don’t, you’re chances of getting what you want (sleeping with us) plummit dramatically. You cannot honestly say that you enjoy it because it makes up for all the other stupid shit you do. If you are one of the many guys who claims to love being independent, it’s probably because YOU are fat and ugly and just lie to yourself so you don’t feel so bad about never landing a girlfriend. And if you ARE attractive, you’re probably just a douchebag who repels women with stereotypical diarrhea of the mouth.
However, TG is pretty spot-on when it comes to what girls ask eachother about guys. We just don’t care because in the end, we’ll be coming home to dick and a BMW. While you’ll be sluthopping for pussy in you’re 2005 Hyundai Accent. I can’t wait to hear all about the classy, smart, sophisticated girl you end up with. And finally…
Myth #3: “I’m a man’s man.”
No. You’re gay.
If you haven’t read Mr. This Guys post… here it is.
(DISCLAIMER: Dear Mr. TG, S’all good. Nuthin’ but love. Yours Truly, Ms. TG)
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