Speaking of Rollin’ Fatties…
Posted By: Ms. That Girl | February 17, 2010 | 4 comments
I’ve fought off discussing this topic like the plague, simply because I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But it looks as though the media is insisting that I say something because no one will shut the fuck up about it. I’m talking about the “Kevin Smith being too fat to fly” ordeal. You’re probably as tired of hearing about it as I am, but I’m here to lay this haunting blog topic to rest, so I can move on with my life.
For those who haven’t heard, Actor/Director Kevin Smith, a.k.a. the infamous “Silent Bob”, was tossed from a Southwest Air flight on Saturday for being just too goddamn fat. First, let me say- LOL. And second, I’d like to point out that this has been happening to people for a mighty long time. But no one kicks Silent Bob off a plane. So now, war has been declared. I never even thought he was that big, but apparently his size is detremental to the “safety and the comfort of all customers.” I repeat- L. O. L. Does anyone else think this is hilarious? What a BURN!! Imagine boarding a plane to anywhere (i.e. a tropical vacay, home for the holidays, reuniting with your long lost biological mother, etc.) and all of a sudden some flight attendant comes up to you and is like “Pardon me, sir, but PSYCH!! Like we’re gonna let your fat-ass fly. We’re actually hoping to NOT crash today. A-Buh-bye.”
From personal experience, I can tell you that Southwest Airlines does in fact suck dick in a number of ways. My long-awaited Spring Break trip to Acapulco was cut short by 3 days and split up into like 17 connecting flights due to the fact that SW just couldn’t get it’s shit together. Then of course, upon my arrival back home a week later, turns out they lost my luggage “probably somewhere between Mexico City and Houston.” Therefore, I subsequently had to wait like 2 fucking weeks for my shit to be found and shipped to my home address. Thank God I own an exoribadent amount of underwear. Needless to say, I swore I’d never fly SouthWest again. But I’d rather all that be the reason, than have it be because I was hazardously obese. It makes me wonder, though, if any other airline would have done the same, or if it’s just further validation that SW makes up it’s own rules. Smith boarded a later flight with no problem- sounds like a personal thing to me. Maybe the flight attendant was just one of those super-skinny chicks, or gay guys who was just like “Ewwww”, and then blamed it on the pilot.
As for Kevin Smith being fat- yeah, he is. Is it uncomfortable sitting next to someone who’s side-fat spills over your arm rest? Yeah, it is. Does it really put other people in imminent danger? Probably not. We miiiight wanna be a little more concerned about the dark-featured foreign guy 5 rows back who just can’t seem to sooth that itch under his left sock. Are you trying to be an overachiever, SW? Think you’re scoring brownie points with America by eliminating every possibility of danger, even if it’s totally unnecessary? I doubt that, man. Kevin Smith is pretty overweight, but I don’t know if I would say he’s “obese”. Two thirds of American’s are overweight, and one third are obese ( http://win.niddk.nih.gov/statistics/). America the Fatass isn’t impressed.
So now, of course, Smith is like WTF, and has been “tweeting” about how fucked up that was ever since. The airline is even tweeting back like “Bro, I’m sorry, ok?” and has offered him a $100 voucher. (Yeah, apparently Airlines tweet). I assume that’s provided he loses weight, right? Becauuuse, if you were right in kicking him off the plane, thennnnn why would you give him a voucher for another one? So you can kick him off again? FAIL.
My personal opinion is this: This whole thing is indeed funny, but equally as retarded. The not-funny kind of retarded. It’s tough because although I can’t stand fat people, let alone fat people in seat B/E, Kevin Smith is the man and that’s just not cool. I don’t care how fat Kevin Smith is. If I’m sitting next to him on a flight, I’d be like “Rollin’ fatties, smokin’ blunts! Who smokes the blunts?? We smoke the blunts!!” And then we would get drunk together. So FUCK YOU, gay flight attendant. I’m not tryna have that shit when I’m chillin’ with Silent Bob. He goes, I go. And you will be hearing from my lawyer.
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Ms. That February 19, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Raw food huh? Good for you. I wish I cared that much about my health. LOL i just get mad at fat people, though because it’s like- i work so f*cking hard not to look like you, what gives you the right to be fat & proud?? get the f*ck outta here.
Aaron February 18, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Send the fatties to my column so they can lose weight and fly anywhere they want.
http://gimmethisandthat.com/food/articles-food/sushi-is-not-raw-food/Christine W February 17, 2010 at 10:23 pm
HAHAHAHA….
you should know i just lol’ed at this.
in borders.
alone.
PFThahahahahaah
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