What What

That’s it, I’m Done.

Ms. vs Mr.

Posted By: Mr. This Guy | August 16, 2010 | 1 comment

If you’ve ever had to work for a living, you’ve dreamed of the day when you could quit your job.  And if you’ve ever worked in a job that you’ve hated, you’ve dreamed of quitting in the most outlandish, over-the-top fashion possible.

I’ve dreamed of punching bosses, customers, and co workers.  I’ve envisioned telling a customer to “fuck off,” “go to hell,” and “eat shit.”  We epitomize it in movies like Half Baked, when the stoner kid peaces out of the fast food chain he’s working for (fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, I’m out).  I’ve thought about doing vile things to the boss’s desk on my way out because I’m quitting and I want to leave in a blaze of self-righteous glory.

But, truthfully, things like that never happen.  The worst thing that most people do is not show up on the last day – by that point, they can’t fire you, so it’s the only do-able solution.  And in the end, we can only daydream about letting the people who slowly excavated our soul know what we really think about them.

Steven Slater has changed all of that (if you haven’t heard of him, you need to do two things: one, wake the fuck up, turn off the cartoons and watch the news, you fucking grown up. Two, google him immediately).   He is the new American hero for the underdogs.  He’s a modern day Robin Hood, striking back at The Man and giving hope to the under-appreciated working class schmucks like you and me.

Steven Slater, an overworked Jet Blue flight attendant, quit his job in what is probably the most I’m-a-motherfucking-badass way possible.  After the plane he was working on landed and waited to pull into the gate, Steven Slater told a passenger to sit down as they stood up to get their luggage out of the overhead compartment, which, as we know, is FAA safety protocol.  The passenger ignored him and pulled down his luggage, hitting Mr. Slater in the process.  Steven asked for an apology, to which the passenger replied “fuck you” and called him a motherfucker.

Here’s where I would want to lose it.  I can’t tolerate people who have such a sense of entitlement where they would think that treating someone else like that is okay.  But 99.9% of the time, 99.9% of the people, including me, will just take it and bitch about it later.  We don’t want to mess up the sweet deal we’ve got working our shitty job, so we take the abuse from the soul-sucking assholes who dish it out.  And slowly but surely, we become beaten down, overworked, bitter and disdainful.  We hate our jobs, our lives, and resent our friends, family and the people we work for because all we do is bottle that shit in.  It festers, it rots, and it eats us alive.

So what does Steven Slater do?  What all of us which we had the balls big enough to do ourselves.  He purged that vile, rotten disdain he had festering inside of him and made damn good use of that pent up anger.  He got on the PA system and announced to the entire plane, “To the passenger who called me a motherfucker: fuck you.”  After he cracked open a couple of beers and said “that’s it, I’m done,” he made the best I-don’t-give-a-fuck exit from his job that you and I will only ever dream of doing: he opened the emergency exit and activated the yellow inflatable slide, slid down with beers in-hand, and made his getaway across the tarmac.

The best part?  When the cops show up later at his house to arrest him, they found him in the middle of having sex.  Fucking. Baller.  Not only did he quit his job in the most unbelievable way possible, he went home to get a piece of ass.  Do work, son.

In just a few short days, Steven Slater has gone from unknown, pissed off flight attendant to American hero.  His Facebook page has over 100,000 fans and you can get already order official Steven Slater “Quit Your Job in Style” shirts online.  And why has he attained this level of fame?  Because he’s done something that we’ve all dreamed of doing.  No one wants to work for a living, and when the time comes to quit a job, we all wish we could do it with such style. Instead of letting his life waste away in a job he hated, Steven Slater stood up for himself, held his ground, and said “fuck off” in the coolest fucking way possible.

The resounding, deafening response he’s gotten from the public shows that maybe there’s far too many of us who have put up with shit we don’t need in our lives.  Do we all need jobs?  Unless you have your daddy’s trust fund, in which you’re just wasting my oxygen, of course we do.  Do we need to subject ourselves to bullshit day in and day out and let our jobs demean, degrade and dehumanize us?  Fuck no.  Maybe we all can’t crack a beer, hop onto the emergency slides and ride off into the sunset the way Steven Slater did.  But instead, maybe we can begin to realize that we’re worth a little bit more than the shit dished out to us.

Steven Slater, you are our new hero, and I believe that I speak for all of America when I say that we salute you.

Continuing the Discussion

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