Chuck Norris: Walker Texas DANGER
Posted By: J.M.B | March 27, 2010 | 2 comments
Everybody loves a good Chuck Norris fact (And if you don’t, you are not funny. See, I can appreciate them because I’m hilarious.) Anyway, yesterday I went in search of some good ones I hadn’t heard before, even though most never get old. I sifted through this website, and found a bunch. No one likes to laugh by themselves, so Ima share them with you. Enjoy! 
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because “The Sum of All Fears” is the name of Chuck Norris’s autobiography.
- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
… So, in conclusion- L.O.L. Thank you.
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