What’s the rush?
Posted By: Nicole Jenet | March 26, 2010 | 5 comments
Even if a girl won’t admit it, she has thought about what her wedding will be like at least a few times. But recently, it seems that those wedding “dreams” are turning in a reality for people as soon as they turn 25 (and even younger). People have started treating marriage at 25 as a rite of passage. Is this a quarter life crisis? I want to know why it seems that 20somethings want to rush into getting married.
Now, I know couples that have been dating since middle school and have been together for close to ten years, so it’s not so outlandish for them, but what about the rest of us? While I was away on spring break, I found myself looking at 20somethings’ left hands for rings. When I realized what I was doing, I couldn’t believe myself. I’m only 20something, what’s the matter with me that I’m suddenly needing to check if someone my age is married or engaged?!
I’ve always been a big believer that if you love someone enough to get married, that waiting five years shouldn’t make a difference in how you feel about each other. I feel that 20somethings feel like they get to a point where they feel obligated to “take the next step” and think that getting married is the only way to do that. Even though we (luckily) made it through our awkward puberty-ridden years, survived high school and even finished higher education, we still do a lot of growing through our 20′s. The person you are at 20-years-old is most likely not the same person you will be at 25 and 30.
It seems like people are like “Ok, we made it through college, we have jobs now, so I guess it’s that time.” I don’t know if it’s the naivety stereotype of 20somethings that we think marriage is going to fun and successful if we love each other enough or we just want to prove that now we’re “grown-ups,” but I think it’s a mistake. Although I’ve never been married or anywhere close to it, I know that making a marriage work is work. It’s not always fun and full of love and warm feelings. You have to learn to communicate, compromise and be patient. You have to learn how to forgive and not hold a grudge after inevitable arguments. You have to learn that you are not always going to be right. You have to learn that marriage is supposed to mean that you don’t just throw up your hands and walk away when things get tough. And most importantly, you have to realize that loving someone means that you do all of those things for each other.
Until you know that both you and your partner can do all of those things for each other, marriage should wait.
-
Colleen March 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm
I totally agree. It’s like what everyone else here has said: 20 somethings are self-centered people. And since so many people are marrying at 25 or after like one year of dating, yes marriage is now a fad. These self-centered people are doing it just for the show “look at me! I’m all grown up!”… Until 2 years down the line they’re getting a divorce, because they realized its not always about their selfish ass. This is why I HATE that show Bridezillas. It encourages this shit. Bottom line is: Communication is the foundation of all lasting relationships. If you don’t have that, you’re doomed to fail. And most of these younger 20 somethings have not realized that yet.
Jennifer March 27, 2010 at 4:23 pm
I have been at both ends of this spectrum. Status quo… considered single. The idea of marriage these days has completely evolved from a trade structure systematically used many years ago to gain land, animals, and power to a status symbol and a “party” to visually show just how in love you are. Marriage is now a fad, not an important right of passage.
Steve March 27, 2010 at 12:26 am
right no room for selfishness and most 20 year olds I know are all about themselves…..sorry guys
5 Responses
Subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.